Amid battles to survive increases in energy costs we have become monitors of meters, tweakers of thermostats, devotees to the art of dressing in layers. Now, with talk of shortages this winter, we are informed of the need to further reduce our energy usage.

But we are new to examining the minutiae of our energy consumption, so accurate data has never before been this important. Therefore, according to my supplier, I should “take a leap into the future by upgrading to a shiny new smart meter. Put your feet up and have your smart meter installed before your next Zoom call. We’ll get an appointment booked that suits you!”

Early July suited me. I had just moved in. But demand was high, I was told, so there would be an eight-week delay before my smart electricity and gas meters would be fitted. Frustrating, but forgivable, I thought. Still in good time for winter.

But the end-of-August appointment proved unsatisfactory. The electric was not the problem, but the building’s gas supply was not compatible with a smart meter. So, neither new meter would be fitted. Another five-week delay, I was told. Less forgivable, I thought.

So, I kept a regular eye on units used and stubbornly avoided switching on the gas during the dwindling weeks of summer. To mid-September, electricity usage remained just about affordable, and I consumed zero gas units. A decent effort, I thought.

Mid-September got chilly. I fired up the boiler and having not enjoyed mains gas for well over a decade, looked forward to the promise of this relatively economical form of heating. For a fortnight I checked daily usage and was relieved to find I could maintain one room at a comfortable temperature and heat up hot water on an affordable number of gas units. Energy consumption under control, I thought.

Then, on the last day of September, my smart electricity meter was fitted, just the 12 weeks after ordering. But still no word on installation of a smart gas meter.

Within days I am on the phone complaining that my smart electricity meter is not working. A smart meter can take up to three months to register on the system, I am told. Re-frustrated, I enquire into progress of the promised smart gas meter. I am now informed I need to ring another company to get my gas supply altered. Receiving this critical information as an afterthought, several months into my order, with winter approaching, I dare not share what I thought about that.

In need of positive diversion from the frustrations of having no functioning smart meters to assist in economising, I enquire how much this month’s bill will be — just to confirm my careful calculations.

Unfortunately, my maths are awry by hundreds of pounds. The customer services representative is baffled. She seeks advice. I wait, feeling gutted. I had been so careful counting gas units.

I am then sent the following advanced maths, which my supplier describes as a ‘standard industry formula’: (units metered) × 2.83 to convert hundreds of cubic feet to cubic metres (units consumed) × Volume Correction (for temperature & pressure) × Calorific Value (energy in each m3 of gas) ÷ 3.6 (convert from joules) = Usage (in kWh)

Apparently, and although common parlance has always been ‘gas units’, I am metered in one ‘unit’ (m3) but billed in another (kWh). And apparently, I am expected to know that each ‘unit’ my meter displays should be multiplied by a factor of 11.36 to determine the units used to calculate the bill.

The shock of this discrepancy was provocation enough to prompt enquiries into disconnecting the gas. The disconnection charge is £170 and the work can take three months (another £84 in standing charges) to complete, I am told.

Unfortunately, it seems suppliers are not allies in our battle to reduce energy usage. These companies, sitting on unexpected mountains of money, must be compelled to make economising straightforward and inexpensive. Timely installation of smart meters. Smart meters registering on the system within days rather than months. It is this winter that matters and a six month drag is little use to anyone wanting to economise now. The cost and delay in disconnecting gas is further unnecessary foot dragging which dissuades customers from immediate and more radical reductions. Meters should always display billing units. If not, companies must be forthcoming with this most critical information at the onset of an energy contract.

It hasn’t got cold yet, and we are already fighting to stay warm, for our financial lives, and our livelihoods. Of course, I whistle in a chilly wind, for ordered early July, no shiny new smart meter functions here. Lord, I hope this winter is a mild one.

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