Mothers’ Union, St Anne’s

THE UNION had a talk by Sarah Baldwin and Karina Parker of the West Wales Domestic Abuse Service.Sarah and Karina gave an eye-opening account of the work done by their organisation, leav-ing us to wonder at how sheltered some of us have been from the agonies encountered by the victims of abusive relationships. Danger was a constant companion during the talk. Descriptions of the refuge facilities and ‘move-on properties’ rightly omitted their exact location, but very striking was the provision of a 24-hour on-call service and also the absolute, over-riding priority given to the caller’s and the residents’ safety.The many ways in which abuse can manifest itself included psychological and financial, as well as the more obvious categories, and it was thought-provoking how definite both Sarah and Karina were that there is only ever one abuser in any one relationship. Major problem areas that were flagged up during the talk included: • when children are involved, the difficulty of keeping an abused partner safe when arrangements have to be made for parental access by the other partner.• ever-tightening financial pressures, especially the cuts to legal aid budgets.• widespread misconceptions among so many people, especially young people, in relation to the concept of sexual consent. Much work needs to be done towards changing attitudes and helping perpetrators face the reality of their behaviour, Sarah and Karina said, but the cost of these programmes is very hard to meet. While mentioning funding problems, Sarah told the group that they are absolutely desperate for volunteers to help staff the shop they run in Cardigan. Anyone interested should please get in touch.

Much discussion ensued, especially on the definition of ‘abuse’ where dementia is involved. Overall, members were left stunned at the strength of these two ladies, and wondering at how lucky most of them had been.